It all started innocently enough; one guy entering a crowded restaurant, hoisting something resembling a walkie-talkie straight out of Sands of Iwo Jima, and a personal assistant, hired for no other purpose than to lug around the accompanying attaché and manage the mechanical train like a bride on her wedding day, requesting a table for 'three'. And we all looked on in wonder, and just new this man was a spy; so mysterious as he glided across the room, rocking his Ray-Ban Aviators and waiting while said assistant conducted a series of maneuvers in an effort to reach the assigned table in time to pull out a chair for this modern day Christopher Marlowe (look it up). Little did we know, he was simply a summer intern for Cellular One, the only known carrier at the time, checking the reception from inside the selected dining establishment, to the nearest major intersection, where his counter part waited patiently, the equivalent of a NASA regulation satellite dish duct taped to the back of his rental moped.
And what about the sighting of the first ever 'beeper' guy, to this point merely urban legend, born out of some hallucinogenic half-way house, on the campus of a university in Corvallis. You see him limping down the street wearing what can only be described as a line worker's industrial strength tool belt, which housed a box-like device the size of Webster's latest voluminous edition. And when Sasquatch received an alert? It brought the thunder like Wyatt Earp galloping across the dusty plains in search of a band of red sashes.
So, how on earth did we regress from this simple experimental concept, that never had a chance because of cost factors and technological deficiencies, to every man, woman and child on every street corner owning a portable device, often times at the expense of an honest meal? It didn't happen overnight and it was a process. Think about it. We've gone from a society of guys wearing pagers on every belt loop like a hippy selling jell-o shots at a rave party, to these petite, self contained, bite sized, touch screen computers, that do everything but brush our teeth and use the loo for us. At this rate, can that really be too far behind? And have you ever seen a more neurotic industry? We've gone from the large flip down, to the tiny flip up; from the plain touch tone, to the two-way. We've had the car phone, the hands free phone, the razr, the blackberry, the Bluetooth, the first generation 'smart' phone with the slide out Qwerty keyboard; ooh...ahh. How did we get here? How did we become so self reliant on technology, a place where our bodies and minds once ruled? How did we allow ourselves to become so dysfunctionally, functional?
You know, I turned down a job about 14 years ago, because I was simply too closed minded to accept what the carrier at the time, was selling me. The cellular age is going to take over the world. No way. One day, the majority of our business will be conducted with our phones. Impossible. One day, everyone will be able to afford the services that are widely reserved for the working professional today. Some may even receive these services for free. It's coming, watch and see. Thank you for your time. And, here we are. We are on the verge of becoming a virtual paperless society, all of our business conducted via apps and email. And textbooks? We have a generation growing up before us that may never know what a textbook is, but will instead read about it in their History of the World I, e-book, the required reading manuscript at colleges and universities everywhere, available in the iTunes Store.
We are there, in the age I never believed would, let alone could, sustain itself. We have wi-fi and hot spots, 4g and LTE; online degrees and virtual book clubs, cooking classes and sporting arenas. We are wholly dependent on the latest and greatest to achieve relevance and viability, to stay ahead and move forward. But, at what cost? Gone are the days of the family dinner, or drive where, to contact someone, we waited until we arrived back home. Progressive euchre now consists of switching laptops with your mate in the comfort of your own homes. Rooting for your favorite team requires little more effort than surfing for the one of fifty channels they may be playing on, because they are on, allowing for the 'convenience' of avoiding crowds, paying exorbitant parking fees, oh...and creating memories.
You have to be left to wonder what's next? I can assure you of one thing: I'm a believer that it can, and will, happen, whatever that next chapter may be. So, while I acknowledge, and conform to the notion that we must accept these "advances" as a necessary evil, I do so begrudgingly. And while I cling to the memory of a simpler time, I accept it solely as that; a memory. And yes, I do believe that 'smart' phone makes you look stupid; but, no more stupid than me.
Until tomorrow,
Scott
No comments:
Post a Comment