"They Make Fun Of The Way I Talk, And Nobody Will Help Me"

I had about fifty light-hearted, funny (in my mind, anyway) topics ready to go, when this one jumped to the forefront of my conscience and made me think, 'the other fluff can wait'. It's been ongoing for some time, and we've seen some of the signs: "forgotten" homework assignments, voluntary isolation, defiance at home; we've even scheduled a case conference, one month into the school year to update his IEP. But, it didn't really smack me in the face, or become crystal clear, until this morning when my son broke down and, upon my asking what was wrong with him, responded by saying, "They make fun of the way I talk, and nobody will help me."

To understand the issue at hand you need to understand my son. He was born with a condition; no, a disease I referenced in an earlier post called, Schizencephaly. I understand the majority have never heard of this disease, but may be familiar with the layman's root disease, Cerebral Palsy. Our son doesn't have a lot of classic signs. In fact, if you were to meet him for the first time, initially you may think he's a normal, healthy 11-year-old boy which, in many ways, turns out to be true. What you do recognize over time, are subtle differences such as the limp, the under-developed right arm, a propensity for drooling and...his speech. He has worked very hard in all phases of his young life, but this area is becoming more prominent socially and has caused him great personal embarrassment and discomfort, especially in a learning environment where he may be called on and encouraged to speak in front of his peers. He first brought this subject matter to my attention last year, when he mentioned that he didn't like himself and wondered why God made him so that people couldn't understand him. We talked a little bit about the unique nature of each of us individually and even worked on some solutions in his therapy sessions, which seemed to help, at least on the surface. He was responding more in class, his peers were apprised of his new speech techniques and everything seemed to be on the upswing. That was then, this is now.

It's sad to think about, really; why it's human nature to be cruel to each other, especially at such a young age. We, personally, are not unreasonable people. We understand, 'kids will be kids'. But, what kind of children pick on another child with a disability? Not that there should be degrees of acceptable bullying; all bullying is unacceptable. But, to conscientiously choose to say and do mean-spirited things to a peer who is physically inferior in most aspects? This is not normal adolescent behavior. This is a learned behavior, and it is disgusting and reprehensible. Don't believe people like this exist? Read the letter from the "concerned" Canadian citizen, which is currently circulating the social networking sites.

After my son and I had our initial conversation about the current state of his social situation, I immediately sent off an email to the principal of the school letting him know this was an issue in his school, at least in one known instance, and probably more. You know the adage, where there's smoke, there's fire. He replied back with the standard bureaucratic response, that this behavior was not acceptable in their school or school system, they would investigate and take appropriate action, blah, blah, blah...bull s***. Here we are, not 6 months later, re-convening a meeting, and topic, that were allegedly discussed and resolved at that time; taking time to update standards in our son's learning regiment, not due to a lack of comprehension, but due to a lack of oversight, regarding the hottest of hot-button topics in our academic society today. Why? What..are..we..afraid of?!? Is it wrong to hold ourselves, as responsible adults, to a higher moral standard, to be decent to each other and stop all of the senseless hatred and negativity? What in the world is ever accomplished by acting this way? Do people, in general, really feel better about themselves, or sleep better at night, knowing they've managed to make another human being feel absolutely miserable? It's deplorable and it's about time somebody had the guts, starting from the top down, to change this pervasive attitude in our communities. That's the platform, right? C-h-a-n-g-e? Put your money where your mouth is.

I'm not willing to have one more conversation with my incredibly heroic son, where he tells me he can't stand himself, he doesn't know why he was 'made different', or doesn't want to live. This is not his issue. He is not to blame. This one is on us, and we need to grow up, act like adults and O-W-N it, because the only statistic I'm going to allow him to become, is the one where he defies all of the odds and accomplishes all of the great things that are inside of him. He deserves that. They all do.

Until tomorrow,

Scott