No Shave November?...I Don't Get It

My wife approached me ever so cautiously the other day, staring in horror as if my 'Oprah toe' were on fire, or my third eye had a sharp object protruding from its socket, and asked in that ever-so-macabre Hitchcock-esqe tone, "What is that fur crawling up the side of your face and down into what used to be your pectoral region?"
"It's 'No Shave November', honey.", I retorted proudly.
"'No Shave November'. I don't get it, but it sounds stupid.", she snootily shot back, spinning on her heels at a hasty pace, so as not to miss the latest Grand Posting of the gluten-free alternative to the timeless holiday classic fruit cake recipe on Pinterest.

This is not an odd response or sentiment, but it is a tad bit frustrating. I mean, just because we men don't post clever cryptic updates like, 'I'm 25 weeks and lovvvve pistachio ice cream', or change our profile pictures to a different member of the cast of "Sons of Anarchy" every other day, doesn't mean we don't deserve our cause to stand up for, and represent. It just so happens we got something that's not entirely as glamorous, or mainstream, as other causes. No, we were gifted the cause to end all causes, that compound tubuloalveolar exocrine gland of the male reproductive system...the prostate. Well, and colon cancer awareness, but that's only because we've been called a**hole so many times, we just kind of adopted it as our own.

I get it. I'm no different than the next guy, but it is what it is; God's sense of humor at work and we need to pick up the ball, run with it (shameless sports reference) and reach our goal of awareness in the male population, along with prevention and, potentially, a cure. I don't know if either of the previous two scenarios are realistic, but I do know the issue is manageable, without going into a lot of medical mumbo jumbo that the latent member of our far inferior gender would only scratch his head, or nether regions, in a futile effort to understand.

It's all about sucking it up, and getting the screenings, gentlemen; one, which is not that far removed from the Roto-Rooter guy coming out and snaking your clogged drainage pipes, and the other just about as much fun, but not nearly as invasive. Nevertheless, it needs to be taken seriously, and it needs to be done. If not for yourself, and your personal longevity, for your family and those closest to you. Call your doctor and schedule an appointment (it's covered in the Obamacare package-I think) today, while your neck is still mercilessly itchy and it's at the forefront of your thoughts.

And ladies? While our "movement" may not bring to light, "shades" of Ryan Gosling dancing shirtless on our pillow top mattresses, or a virile lumberjack clearing a path to freedom, it is important...to us. Turn the other cheek, and allow us these 30 days to celebrate our manhood in its purest form, and possibly save ourselves, from ourselves, in the process.

Until tomorrow,

Scott